Flunky Dunky

So, we got Lucy's first ever report card. Hey, at least the "needs improvement" marks are in glitter pen. An "F" is easier to digest when it comes with jazz hands.

Lucy was not promoted to the next level in swim not because she lacked aquatic enthusiasm (she has that in spades), but because she would (and I quote) "will NOT let those bad boys touch me!" The bad boys in question were her two very sweet teenage teachers. Still, Stephen seemed pleased with her attitude toward boys and plans to encourage that phrase until she's 30 or so.

Since the entire class is built around the teachers taking the kids out for swims, Lu's performance was somewhat hindered.

When we got to the pool, she took off running for the water yelling for me to "take off that dress!" She was operating under the misapprehension that this would be a parent and child class. Stephen and I may have inadvertently led her astray on this point.

We sat down for introductions. Hey! These boys are pretty funny!

 Wait. I'm supposed to go in the pool with them? They can't be serious.

 Okay, I am maintaining a nice safe distance here. 

I sense someone approaching.

 No. I don't want to go for a swim with you. Nononononononononono.

 Oh God. They're using the other kid as bait.

Hey other kid: you know that guy will totally dunk you as soon as he takes you out into the middle, right?

That's right, honey. RUN AWAY!!!!

 If I want to stay in the pool I have to go for a swim with Ryan?

See ya!

Ah....Pool with mama and a life jacket. This I can do.

Shake it Like a Polaroid Picture

Click here for amazingness.

Literally seconds before Lucy bit it on stage, Stephen leaned toward me and said, "our kid is totally going to be the one who falls." Who says mothers are the ones with intuition?

But she still rocked it! And then cried during the big finale (not recorded lol).

Soccer, Beer & a Bad Outfit

It's weird how having two kids can keep you busy even when one of them sleeps all the time and there are two adults to care for them. Maybe we're just amateurs. In any case, I haven't had the chance to write about our most recent adventures.

Now that you're convinced I have neglected the blog in favor of caring for my small children (and haven't been spending my evenings say, drinking wine and watching Long Island Princess and the Next Food Network Star), let's move onto what we did last week.

Lucy started soccer!

She was a total badass! GOOOOOOAL!

All that exercise observation really worked up my appetite and we found ourselves in need of refreshment. One of the great things about living in Ballard is that if you want to do some beer tasting on a random afternoon at 4:30, you have a number of kid (and dog!) friendly options. We went to Populuxe with auntie Col after grabbing burgers to go at the incomparable Red Mill burgers. 

 Lucy and I eagerly anticipate the food while waiting in the car. BURGERS!!!!

I am sure Ella was super cute in there. She's what you might call a low maintenance baby.

Our meal got off to a sad start when Stephen spilled our two ounce pours. But his arms look nice and manly, right?

The second attempt went better. I tried a porter and a brown ale. Both were delish.

 Stephen was pleased with his pale ale.

Col went with an IPA while Lu got a bottle of warm water from the car. Sometimes it's hard being 3.

But hey! They had toys! And we're going back this Friday for Family Happy Hour hour with live music and the Seattle Tumblebus. They also promise some awesome food truck-age.

Saturday brought Lucy's dance recital. Which meant I had to go into full dance mom mood and apply lipstick to my preschooler. The studio does not mess around: her costume came with pretty threatening hair and make-up instructions.

This was the result:

Ella had some things to say

Whoa. Wait a second. What fresh hell is this?

You're going out in that? In public? With me?

How do I put this? That is a hobo suit, darling.

I am totally sending this to Suri's burn book.

Stay tuned for the full performance video. Spoiler alert: it's hilarious!

Seattle's Hottest Club is Playdate

This place has everything: Glass, steam, bear traps, and just when you think the fun is over — knock knock, who’s there? It’s Black George Washington! All that, and a party room filled with human bathmats.

Okay, it has none of those particular things (RIP, Stefon) but yesterday's adventure did include 8,500  sf of the craziest kid crap you can imagine: huge slides, twisty climbers and an entire room where you can fire nerf-style balls at your precocious three year old. Not that we did that. Also, beer & wine and stumptown coffee. As my mother said when I described it, "how Seattle."

Since drinking a beer at a kid's place at 11am rather more loudly announces "potential drinking problem" than I was comfortable with, I opted for an americano. 

I sipped my coffee and watched the baby (asleep in her carseat the whole time--perfect kid, I am telling you) while Stephen and Lu went nuts. After about 15 minutes I received a text saying THIS IS AWESOME! And Stephen never writes in all caps.

Judging by a flinging-herself-on-the floor and wailing NOOOOOO performance when we left, I'd say Lucy was equally impressed.

Balls!

 

 OMG BALLS!!!!

Ghjdfhsdgs!! Arm flapping!!

 

 

 Stephen valiantly squeezed himself in small-person spaces to keep our child safe. And to take pictures for my amusement.

This slide was actually really steep. I was kind of afraid I would shoot into a wall when I gave it a try. Lu was surprisingly brave.

Just so you know, I'm not going home.

And all this was CHEAP. Only $5 for all-day play and adults are free (unless you order a beer).

I'm feeling 32

Yesterday was spent celebrating this fine man's 32nd birthday. Anyone who knows Stephen well knows that a birthday would be woefully incomplete without bacon. So we headed to Ballard's Portage Bay Cafe. Their motto is "eat like you give a damn" with a focus on locally sourced, sustainable food. Which means you can eat things like stuffed french toast and still feel healthy and smug. After "cheers", we got down to enjoying our meal.

Stephen seemed pleased with his verde pork omelet.

Lucy notes that it is good she was given a spoon for "scooping up the whipped cream." Which she ate in its entirety before moving onto the pancake and fruit.

I had the crab cake Benedict, which was appealing enough to prompt Lu to ask to trade plates. She was happy with both her meals.

After breakfast, we spent some time hanging out at home before Stephen left for the US vs. Panama game. The only thing more important than bacon in making his birthday a good one may be soccer. He reported having a great time with brother Timbo.

While he was gone, Lucy invited her neighbor friend Luly over for some general shenanigans. Ella helped me make dinner while the girls played.

 (this proved exhausting)

We then spent some time playing in her room with the dog. And working on our skills of being generally adorable.

Baby feet!

 Doesn't this face just kill you?